


If Sex Is the Drug, Then What Is the Cost

by EvAEleanor



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Butt Plugs, Denial of Feelings, Face-Fucking, Love Confessions, M/M, Oral Sex, POV First Person, POV Harry Potter, Sex Worker Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:27:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24763090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvAEleanor/pseuds/EvAEleanor
Summary: For quite some time, Harry has been seeing Malfoy. Well... Actually, he's hired Malfoy, to keep him company, in his bedroom. It's only sex — honestly — and since Malfoy is the best, he's the only person Harry wants. That's all it is, right?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 34
Kudos: 241
Collections: HD Wireless 2020





	If Sex Is the Drug, Then What Is the Cost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [orpheous87](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orpheous87/gifts).



> Orpheus87: I heard the song and just started typing. I hope you like the fic, I definitely had fun writing it. 
> 
> Wireless Mods, you are all incredible! Thank you so much for all your hard work and effort. 
> 
> V, I can’t thank you enough for encouraging me, cheering on me, and for the funny late-night chats.  
> Thanks a million to my brilliant beta K. You rock! Your comments and suggestions made the fic so much better.
> 
> Prompt: 244  
> Song: I Almost Told You That I Loved You - Papa Roach

I lean with my shoulder against the bedroom wall, my hair still damp from the shower. The washed-out jeans with ripped knees hang low on my hips and the shirt I’m wearing is a little short, revealing the tiniest patch of olive skin. All of it is done on purpose, of course. I bet he won't even notice, and it won’t matter anyway because my clothes will come off soon enough. I didn’t even bother to put on underwear. 

Green flames flicker in the fireplace, announcing his arrival. I look at the clock on my bedside table to see that he’s right on time. Like always. Something I can rely on. 

As he steps out, I can see him wearing the tight grey trousers that hug his arse in the most delicious way and the dark blue button-down that I like so much. The top buttons are undone, displaying just the right amount of pale skin to make me want to see more. 

_Perfect._

He walks over to me in slow, deliberately taken steps. 

“Third time this week and the fourth time in the last ten days," he smirks and I want to wipe it right off his face, but I force myself to stay calm. "My, my, Potter, you must be desperate for me," he adds. 

_That’s a lie. It’s just sex. You wouldn’t get Malfoy here for any other reason._

I try to convince myself while I can already feel the blood in my veins beginning to boil in red, hot fury. Deep down, I know that he's right. And I hate that I want him, more and more. Every day I'm not with him is becoming harder for me. I can't bear the thought of him being with others, of others buying his time, buying his body. 

_Harry, you’re not different, you’re not special to him._

I briefly shake my head to get rid of these thoughts. Instead, I'll enjoy the sight of him walking to me. Once he stands right in front of me, I push myself off the wall and place one of my fingers on his soft lips to shut him off. I can't stop myself from telling him — and thereby reminding me — exactly why he's here. 

“Shut up Malfoy, you're not my therapist. I don't pay you to analyse me.” 

My face hardens, and my voice is flat. It's enough to make him swallow and get to business. I let my finger brush over his plump bottom lip a couple of times, forcing his lips to part. He raises his eyebrows expectantly. 

_Not yet, Malfoy._

My hands trail over his shirt; the texture of it is to die for — soft, almost silky, and also cold to the touch. I love the warm huff of air that escapes his mouth when I briefly stop to play with his nipples. For a second, Malfoy shuts his eyes as I run my thumb over them and feel them harden underneath the cool fabric of his shirt. 

My hands slide further down and come to rest on his hips. I wait. 

“How do you want it today?” he asks, quickly regaining his posture again.

His gaze is intense, the pupils already slightly dilated. I’m licking my lips and playfully bite down on my lower lip. He looks so perfect. I secretly wish that it wasn’t always strictly business. 

What was that? Get a grip on yourself.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I let my eyes trail over his body. Making him believe that I haven’t already made up my mind. That my fantasy is running wild just at this moment. 

“You, on your knees, suck me until I come.” 

He’s expecting me to say more. Malfoy knows me too well by now. I wouldn’t just get him over here for a simple blowjob. Though it wouldn’t be a waste of money — he’s incredibly good at his job. 

“ _If_ you do well, I _might_ let you fuck me.” 

A smug smile spreads on his face, as he raises his eyebrows. It goes straight to my cock, fully hard now before he’s even laid a finger on me. I can feel heat crawling up my neck. But I don’t care, he knows the effect he has on me. 

_That’s why you only want him, no one else._

No other bloke has ever made me feel the way he does. Although I've tried very hard to make it work with others. Hook-ups in Muggle bars and others like… him. Because at some point, it had been too much. I wanted to have him here every day. Currently, I’m giving him more than generous tips to ensure that he puts me before all his other clients.

_It's merely because you’re almost addicted to the way he makes you feel. Malfoy is the only person you want because he’s the best. But that’s all there is to it._

Malfoy pushes my body roughly back against the wall with one hand on my chest, pressing me into the cold stone. I gasp for what can easily be mistaken as shock when I hit the wall. The true reason is concealed by my trousers, hidden from view.

I can feel his warm breath on my cheek before he leans in further. In a deep, almost threatening voice, he whispers in my ear, “I _always_ do well.” 

He licks my earlobe and sucks on it before he meets my eyes again. I manage to swallow the moan that threatens to escape me. His body is close, but not touching. I can only feel the heat radiating off it. But if I'd lean forward, I could... 

_Stop it, Harry, you don’t want to do that._

Refusing to go down that path, I concentrate on Malfoy again. “Exceptionally well then. You know I’m hard to please.” 

We both know it's a lie. Well, not entirely, but when it comes to Malfoy it is. He knows exactly which buttons to push. He knows me inside out. 

My right hand moves to his shoulder, and I start to push him down before he can say anything else. As he sinks down to his knees, our eyes stay locked the entire time. I watch as the long, pale fingers begin to work on my fly. He carefully opens my zipper and pulls my trousers down so that they pool around my knees. 

His grip is tight when his long fingers are wrapped around my cock. Malfoy grins up at me before licking the first drop of pre-come from the tip. I inhale sharply and my eyes flutter for a brief moment. Malfoy doesn't continue until my eyes are back on him; after months of _this_ (I refuse to call it by its proper name), he knows that I like to watch him when he's going to town. As soon as my eyes meet his grey ones again, he licks over his lips one last time before he presses the tip of his tongue gently in my slit.

_Fuck, he's really going for it today._

Withdrawing, Malfoy studies my face. His expressions says it all; I know what he wants me to say because it’s always been like this. Since the first time he came here, he wants me to beg him to continue, to plead with him. He repeats the motion, longer this time. I hear myself whimpering as I'm fighting to hold back. I don't want to give him any satisfaction. However, the longer he continues, the weaker I become.

"I'm waiting, Potter."

The fact that he’s stroking me while waiting for my reply doesn't improve my ability to form any kind of thought. It takes every bit of willpower not to thrust into his fist. His hands feel incredible around my cock; the way he twists his wrist is marvellous. 

"Please," I whine quietly.

He takes the head in his mouth, his tongue running over the tip.

“Yes,” I gasp, “just like that, Malfoy. More, _please_."

He takes in more than before, sliding his perfect lips over the shaft. Then, Malfoy’s mouth moves back, so that only the tip remains inside before he swallows me down again. He repeats the motion again and again — very slowly — teasing me with leisure tongue swirls around the head every time his mouth is nearly off my cock. It’s as frustrating as it is exquisite. 

“Feel so good… around my cock…” I announce almost breathless when he begins to fondle my bollocks.

My hands find their way into his silky hair; my fingers slide through it, massaging his scalp. I know how much he likes it. 

It's phenomenal, just perfect. The way his white-blond hair feels in my hands, the heat of his mouth around my length, the sight of his lips wet with saliva and pre-come, some it dropping on that probably ridiculously expensive shirt of his, the hand that plays with my balls. But the best thing, the ultimate best thing, is his stormy grey eyes that never leave mine, Malfoy looking through his long lashes up to me. I’ve followed those eyes over so many years. They must’ve watched me almost as much as I’ve watched them.

Malfoy begins to hollow his cheeks to make his mouth tighter, and a shiver runs over my body. In response, I tug on his hair and, accidentally, push my hips forward once. 

_What the fuck did you just do? He’ll never…_

He told me that he doesn't like it very much, that he prefers to take care of… us. I'm stunned when Malfoy slowly blinks once because that means _yes_. My entire body feels hot, almost on fire, when my hands move to hold his head in place. Sliding gently back and forth, I wait for him to relax his jaw before beginning to move.

I’ve entirely forgotten about the plug inside, but I’m _very_ aware of it now because it’s moving when I do. It’s almost too much; Malfoy’s heavenly, wet mouth wrapped around my cock and the metal plug stimulating that sweet spot, grazing over it over and over.

“This feels so amazing. You, swallowing me whole. I love you—r gorgeous mouth…” 

I bump my head back against the wall, realising that I just…

_JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, HARRY! You almost told him that you love him because you're allowed to fuck his mouth._

When I look back down to him, I can see the tears building in his eyes — it shouldn’t spur me on, make me fuck faster into his mouth, but it does. Moments like these are better than my sixteen-year-old self could’ve imagined — not that I’d ever admit to that. The posh pure-blood Malfoy is here, on his knees for me, taking my cock as if he'd been born for it. I can see my cock vanish over and over again between his swollen lips, it’s the most intriguing sight.

My hands grip down harder, tugging more on the hair as I lose myself in the sensations. My cock is hitting the back of his throat with every move, the plug hitting my prostate. It feels so amazing that I have trouble keeping my eyes open. I know I’m going to be done soon. 

I try to hold back, wanting it to last longer, but I can’t stop myself. I moan louder, telling him in between breaths that I’m gonna come. A sharp pain rushes through my system as I feel his fingernails dig into my thighs. The pain is what’s driving me over the edge. I loosen my grip on Malfoy's hair and leisurely snap my hips a couple more times as my load spills into him. 

My hands fall back to my sides after I’ve let go of his hair. My head falls back against the wall with a thud as I slowly come down from the high. I look down to Malfoy after I’ve mostly composed myself, checking to make sure he’s alright. I can hear him taking deep breaths. Fisting a bit of his shirt in one hand, I haul him upwards into a standing position. I pull him in, letting him rest his head on my shoulder, I rub gently over the nape of his neck, hearing his breath slowly evening out. 

“Oh my fucking goodness Malfoy, that was incredible." I press a kiss to the bridge of his nose and after realising what I’ve done, I kick myself mentally because suddenly, he takes his head away from my shoulder and looks at me, his eyes dark. 

In an attempt to avoid them, my eyes look down… at his lips. That was definitely not the wisest choice because I can’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. His lips are red, swollen and wet with saliva and my come, and they are so fucking close. I need to kiss them, to taste myself on him. I’m about to lean in when… 

Malfoy grabs me, spins me around, and steers me towards the bed. 

My movements are restricted because my jeans are pooled around my feet by now and also because the plug brushes against my prostate and I'm slightly sensitive after having just come in Malfoy's mouth. I step out of my trousers on the way to the bed. He pushes me onto the mattress and straddles me with his hips. 

He tugs on the hem of my shirt. “Off with the shirt, Potter. _Now_!” 

The deep voice raises goosebumps all over my body. I swallow and vanish it, wordless and wandless, winking at him when I’m done. Surprise is flashing across his features because so far I haven’t shown him what I’m capable of.

He climbs off me and the bed to get rid of his own clothes. I roll onto the side, my head propped up on one arm, and enjoy every single button coming undone. When all of them are open, he lets the fabric slide down his arms. I can't wait any longer and remove the rest in the same manner as my shirt. 

Malfoy shakes his head "Tsk tsk, Potter. Do you need me inside you _so_ urgently?" 

"It's not as if we aren’t on the clock," I answer, deflecting the same way as earlier. 

Every time he points out how badly I want him, I can't help but remind both of us that this is strictly professional. That I pay him to be here.

_Malfoy would never come to you otherwise._

He takes his time to get back into the sheets, pushing me down on my back and making me spread my legs. Malfoy is lying next to me, pushed up on one arm, and looks down at me, smiling. Barely touching me, his fingertips run over my side, hip and over one cheek to the crack of my arse. He intends to spread them apart when he feels something. Malfoy raises a quizzical eyebrow at me. 

"You never cease to amaze me, Potter." 

He encompasses the end of the plug and checks if I’m okay with what he’s intending to do. After I’ve agreed with a nod, he spreads my legs further apart, twisting the metal in his hand. I can see that something isn't quite right because his forehead is creased in a deep frown. Malfoy sits back up and looks down at what he’s holding between his fingertips.

“A ruby-red bejewelled anal plug? And… wait… clover-shaped? You’re unbelievable, Potter.” 

He rotates the metal toy again. It's on the verge of being painful, but just the right amount. I can feel his eyes on my face, paying close attention to my reactions to his movements. I know that he’d stop as soon as he’d see any signs of discomfort. We’ve never needed words for this. We both sense and see if the other doesn’t like something, though we've agreed on safewords, of course, and talked about likes and dislikes. 

"You know that I actually wanted to take my sweet time with you. Opening you up with my fingers and tongue," he speaks casually as if we’re currently discussing the weekly shopping list.

I turn my head to get a better look at him. His eyes are soft, gentle, and the smile from earlier is back. For a split second, I begin to fantasise that I’m the only one who Malfoy trusts. That he truly lets his guard down when he’s with me. 

_That’s enough. Stop lying to yourself! You're not the one he wants._

I’m panting heavily by now, biting my lower lip. My hips are twitching upwards involuntarily and I want, no, _need_ to have him inside of me.

"Just get on with it, Malfoy," I curse because I can feel my carefully constructed guard slipping with every minute he’s here. I don't know why tonight is different to all the other times he's been here. "Or I swear to— FUCK." 

“To what now, Potter? Please continue. I always admire your eloquence.”

He changes his movements, sliding the plug in and out until I tell him to stop and fuck me instead. 

"On your hands and knees. _Now_ ," he orders.

I drop my head onto a pillow, closing my eyes, and clutch it tightly. The only thing I can hear for a while is my heavy breathing and the loud hammering of my heart. When Malfoy opens the jar of lube that he must’ve just summoned, I try to calm down, preparing myself for… 

“Are you fucking kidding me, Malfoy? I told you to fuck me.” 

“First of all, you never said how. And secondly, I’m not some violent brute that just slams into you. I have no intention to hurt you.” 

I groan loudly as his finger circles my rim; I push backwards, trying to get him to prep me fast. The first finger slides in easily, and when the second is inserted, his teeth bite lightly into my left cheek. Malfoy opens me up further, stretches me really good and adds a third one because the plug was not at all enough. I’d hoped that he’d just fuck me hard and good and leave straight after we’re done. 

But this? This is glorious. Having him here, his body pressed partially against mine, feeling his warmth. His left hand slides over my back and sides, tugs on my hair as he spreads me open gently and thoroughly. His lips kissing and sucking on my cheeks and lower back, biting down occasionally, sending prickles up and down my spine. 

“Malfoy, fuck I lo—” 

_What the fuck is wrong with you today?_

Infuriated with myself, I shout over my shoulder at him, “Just fuck me!”

He ignores my request and continues his motions, crooking his fingers and brushing them over my prostate, over and over. It's like flying my Firebolt at maximum speed over the Black Lake. My entire body is on alert, warm shivers running through every inch of it. I can’t keep losing my grip because of what he’s doing. Because it’s _Malfoy _doing it to me.__

__“Like _today_?” I snarl at him. _ _

__“Fine,” Malfoy says angrily, pulling his fingers out, wiping them on the sheets._ _

__Hearing him tearing the foil of the condom open, I turn my head to watch him over my shoulder, seeing him rolling it over his cock before slicking himself up with a good amount of lube._ _

__Malfoy told me in the beginning that relying solely on Protection Charms is a foolish and amateur move. And if somebody doesn't use condoms in this line of profession, they are goddamn idiots. Some wizards or witches might be able — even unintentionally — to turn them off. He’s not going to place his trust in a game of chance._ _

__“Eyes up front,” he orders._ _

__He turns my head to face the headboard before the same hand grips my shoulder, the other one holding onto my hip as he pushes into me._ _

__The initial burn quickly subsides and all that is left is the glorious feeling of Malfoy sliding deeper and deeper into me. When he finally bottoms out with a pleased, deep groan, I have to fight very hard to not look over my shoulder again. I’d love to see his face, his eyes. I’d like to watch him as he moves in and out me and follow the motions of his body as he does so._ _

__Before I have a chance to do that, Malfoy starts to move. First slowly and then gradually picking up speed until I’m forced to brace myself against the headboard of my bed. In between, I throw my glasses aside because they’re bothering me. The room is silent apart from the constant moans and the loud slap of skin on skin. I can feel his balls against my arse with every thrust. My cock is achingly hard again. I try to let my hips sink lower in search of friction._ _

__Unexpectedly, he stops, slides out of me and turns me to lie on my back._ _

__“Changed my mind,” he tells me while lifting my arse to place a pillow underneath before getting back inside of me._ _

__I promptly wrap my legs around him, pulling him closer. Every single thrust is hard and deep. His face is so close to mine, his hair tickles my face as he moves. My focus is on his grey eyes. From this distance, I can see them clearly. There’s a small blue circle around his iris, barely noticeable unless you pay attention to it. Most colour, however, has been swallowed by black._ _

__On their own accord, my hands move to his upper arms, sliding upwards over his shoulders and his neck and tangling in his platinum-blond hair. Malfoy changes the angle slightly so that with every time he pounds into me, he hits that lovely spot. After closing my eyes, I focus more on the warm feeling spreading inside my body, his mouth moves closer to mine. Feeling his breath against my face, I decide to open my lips, letting him breathe into my mouth._ _

__Malfoy is everywhere, above me, inside me, breathing into me. It's a sense of security I never knew I needed before he came back into my life, my bed. He’s all-encompassing._ _

__My heart pounds faster than ever and my mind goes blank as I’m coming hard between us. I’m only faintly aware of the words leaving my mouth._ _

__“I love you.”_ _

__Malfoy comes seconds later. Briefly, he rests his forehead on my chest to catch his breath before he’s sliding out of me. He rolls me onto my side, and the last thing I register is the dip of the mattress._ _

I wake up hours later to a dark room. Though I’m still naked, I’ve been cleaned and covered with my blanket. Feeling a small breeze against my ear, I try to turn my head to check if the windows are open but halt midway because I can see Malfoy’s face. Just at this moment, I notice his arm around my waist and his evidently equally nude body behind mine. My heart quickly picks up speed. It’s shock, excitement, but also the uncertainty of what will happen as soon as he wakes up.

For now, though, I push all thoughts out of my mind and roll back and put my hand over his, forcing our bodies closer and revel in the feeling of his relaxed, warm body against mine. 

_He stayed._

**Author's Note:**

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